Humor is just another defense against the universe.
--Mel Brooks
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
--Kathy Lette
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
--Peter De Vries
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
--W.C. Fields
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success!
--Doug Larson
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
--Mark Twain
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
--Ray Romano
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
--Albert Einstein
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
--Marty Feldman
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
--Frank Sinatra
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
--Mark Twain
Drama is life with the dull bits left out.
--Alfred Hitchcock
A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it
--Alfred Hitchcock
A film is never really any good unless the camera is an eye in the head of a poet.
--Orson Wells
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
--Groucho Marx