"Next, 'New New York in Crisis.' Morbo?" "Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their pathetic city of New New York." "Makes me glad we live here in Los Angeles." "Morbo agrees." *both laugh cheerfully* - Female anchorwoman & Morbo, the alien newsreader (the alien Jeremy Paxman?)
"All in all, this is one day Mittens the kitten won't soon forget." "Kittens give Morbo gas. In lighter news, the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human Professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny, inferior brain." - Female anchorwoman & Morbo, the alien newsreader
Morbo : "Morbo will now introduce tonights Presidential candidates. Puny human number 1, puny human number 2 and Morbo's good friend Richard Nixon." Nixon : "Hello, Morbo, how's the family?" Morbo : "Belligerent and numerous." Nixon : "Good man. Nixon is pro-war and pro-family!"
"They're great! They're like sex except I'm having them." - Fry
"You're a superhero? That's wonderful! But did you have to make the costume so revealing?" - Leela 'comes out' to her parents
"Who are you and why should I care?" - Bender
"I can't stand idly by while poor people eat free food. We gotta start charging for these." - Bender
"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The 'x' makes it sound sexy." - Bender
"Second place! That's just a fancy word for loser!" - Bender
"What did you say?" "I said you two don't dress trampy enough." - Leela and Amy surprise Bender
"Are you alright?" "Nothing a lawsuit won't cure." - Leela and Bender
"Get off my property!" "You can't own property man!" "Yes I can, because I'm not a penniless hippy!" - Professor Farnsworth encounters a Hippy
"Some say I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave." - Professor Farnsworth has a new friend
"It's the apocalypse alright! I always knew I'd have a hand in it." - Professer Farnsworth
"With my last breath I curse Zoidberg!" - Professer Farnsworth, not wasting his last breath
"If it is alien, we must destroy it!" "Um, sir..." "Right. Nobody destroy Kif." - Zapp Brannigan and Kif, "Futurama"
"Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't hers, it was her dad's. Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains." "Fry, remember what I told you about always ending your stories a sentence earlier?" - Fry and Leela, "Futurama"
"You can't eat dolphins." "Why?" "They're intelligent." "Not this one. He blew all his money at cards." - Leela and Bender
"Wait. What am I saying? If I poach this beast's lower horn, am I any better than that ranger with his demented foot lust? Yes... but not by enough." - Lrrr, dealing with an ethical dilemma
"Hey, which crazy things happening here are you guys screaming about?" - Fry, beset by chaos
"You mean we travelled through time?" "Yes. Some idiot must have put metal in the microwave." - Bender and Professor Farnsworth
"If, for instance, you killed your grandfather you would cease to exist." "But existing is all I basically do!" - Professor Farnsworth and Fry, on the perils of time travel
"And so life returned to normal, well, as normal as life gets on this planet populated by psychotic apes." - Nibbler, revealing his true nature
"Every book in this library is a mental world." - The Giant Brain Spawn battles Fry, as the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance
"Fry! Don't be a hero! It's not covered by the health plan." - Hermes, ever the bureaucrat
"Your body was badly damaged in the crash." "How badly?" "That's it over there." - Dr Zoidberg and Fry
You don't have to be crazy to mutter to yourself here but it helps. - Sign in the Asylum for Insane Robots
"Awww, he looks like a little insane drunken angel." - Amy, as Fry sleeps off the effects of drinking like a robot
Leela: "I'm going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can." Professor: "You're going to do his laundry?"
"One of the great things in the future, there's going to be 5,000 networks, but UPN will still be in last place... The NRA is still around, but they're now crusading for the right to bear death rays... The Simpsons is still on in the year 3000, but the fans on the Internet are complaining that the last 500 years haven't been as good." - Matt Groening, on the world of "Futurama"